After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize