Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
