I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
