So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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