A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
