it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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