Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
