I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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