Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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