Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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