Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Why can't burritos get me drunk
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
