As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
