So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
