and you said cock pushups were impossible
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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