Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
