Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
