When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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