Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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