I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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