Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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