How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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