why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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