talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
