I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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