Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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