I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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