Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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