so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
