You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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