everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
