Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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