so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's shark week go big or go home
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
