I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
