Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I will pee on everything he values.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
