If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
