Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
