Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
