If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I see more hoeing in ur future
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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