You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
