just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
