You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
