Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
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Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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