I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
