she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
