i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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