when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
