i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
