where am i from again
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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