maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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