Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
