I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
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He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
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dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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