would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
