I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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