make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
