dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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