I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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