just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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