I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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