windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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