watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
