belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
