I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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